No matter how hard I try

this day remains…still

embedded in memory

sweet

bitter

sweet

buried in memory

and I remain…still

~

Siobhan

4/1/14

 

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Bucket of Lust

Straddling the console, bodies twisted
in bucket seats, desire undimmed by
discomfort; passion pushes aside
the gear shift stuck between,
they are oblivious to it.

In the back of one mind
or the other
want for a bench seat pokes through, the other
wonders whether this was a wise move.
Perhaps this is best left for those younger
bodies – a fleeting thought – this question
does not break the build of sexual tension.

Fogged windows mirror the emotion
uncertain in the afterglow
each silently wanting
to ask
was it good for you?

Siobhan
2/11/14

 


Sunday Chapel

Afternoon, a walk in the woods, I feel
the pull and pinch of past life struggling
to resurface, like springtime new growth.

I stop beneath a pair of oak trees stripped
by the winter, release my gloved fingers
wanting a campfire to relieve the itch
and ache of cold – or other hands to hold.

Over the crest, a break in the water
signals a short thaw giving me some hope
Spring will soon melt away the dreary grey.

The adventurous partner in this pair
he goes ahead of me searches, explores,
finds wonder in just about everything.

A glance over shoulder as if to ask
permission to venture farther away
he smiles when I nod, and he runs. I walk.

A slower pace to practice my breathing
– slow and steady, in through the nose, and out
through the mouth. Deliberate meditation
in our Sunday chapel by the river.

~
Siobhan
1/19/14


Sometimes I forget
fibromyalgia exists
winter reminds me

 

~ Siobhan

12/31/13


Heart-frozen, tears turn to sleet – crystallized
salt tracks on red cheeks, an outline of pain
all too familiar. This time of year is
not among her favorites. Merry Christmas
and a happy New Year are foreign words
to a tongue twisted with memories.

Yet, as days grow longer, whispers of snow
replace the sting of words that splintered vows
with false confessions of love – too little
too late – forgotten. Broken silent
promises begin to fade; shattering
her patterns, left over from years ago.

A sense of falling – forward, not back, stirs
new resolve; opens possibilities.

Siobhan
12/30/13


November Winds

Each year, I fight against the Solstice tide
find my way out of its darkness – once more.
One moment I am moving forward – then
memory spins me around, throws me back.

A draft of leaves offers me direction
carries my gaze skyward from horizon
to clear blue – the beauty of autumn comes
through in red-yellow-gold fractured patterns.

Then, no longer shadow-bound, I step in
color-deep sidewalks, slip from rain puddle
to puddle. Emotions swirl together
leaving me lightheaded, tossed like a leaf

in November winds. Sunshine confuses
heartaches from the past – leaving them behind.

~ Siobhan
11/20/13


Rearview Mirror

The stoplight wasn’t nearly long enough;
I only caught a glimpse in the rearview.
Not enough time to drink in his image –
left thirsty, only a sip of blue eyes
(were they blue beyond my imagining?)

No cigarette dangled from crimson lips
– which only made me want to taste them more.
With no idea of height, just a hint
of stature by his casual posture
leaning against window and steering wheel.

Red turned green – envy my destination
as he disappeared around the corner.
I just passed, too shy to reverse my course.
He will remain in my rearview mirror.

~Siobhan
11/18/13