Tomorrow never comes…

Inside My Heart
 
I work through the pain – realization
that yesterday was and today is and
tomorrow truly never comes around.

And if we were to reach tomorrow, what
would be waiting for us? While this baggage
will fade into a memory – will it
disappear? Unlikely. It could become
the chain that binds – and yet separates – us.
A precious reminder of what was; what
we had, who we were once upon a time …
unrealized potential still silent.
 
Quietly, inside my heart, I hold on
to the memories, to the tenderness,
to love that still breathes as life goes on.

 
Siobhan
12/2/09

 

There is no question

Boxed Angels

I do not question that love was the strength
that kept us together and will, in ways,
keep us together ever – and then some.
 
We reached heights I had never imagined;
lows I only feared in nightmarish dream
when the past wrestled with our present life.
 
No fingerprints can be found on the point
when poison took control of heart and mind,
pushed irrationality in between.
 
I collected angels for a long time,
perhaps hoping for peace and renewal,
a place away from where we found ourselves.
 
They’re all packed in boxes now, and like them,
we wait to be lifted to life again.
 
 
Siobhan
11-24-09

 

Small steps

Leave a Tender Moment – Alone

She is uncertain of where the truth lies;
in fields beneath the stars, curled in a bed
one once shared by two lovers now strangers?
They both ask the sky, search constellations,
for an answer, knowing it rests within.

The leap to silence happened in small steps:
whispers in the dark after making love
whiskey and wine marinated passion
subtle words meant to slash at confidence
wishes falling on deaf ears – his and hers.

She re-reads the words poured out on paper
over years, searches them looking for truth.
Fourteen lines of love, desire, and life
reveal the pain building inside them both.

Siobhan
11-22-09

 

Memory and Truth

Hold On To Memories

She stands at the window, watches shadows
stretch out across the street and hide the past,
confuse the future, mix them together
until neither is clear any longer.

Eyes flutter shut as she relives his touch.
With the breath of a sigh, she’s reminded
of sensations he tantalized her with –
his whispered caresses and soft kisses.

Wavering between the new moon and full,
her imagination flows with the tide.
The pull in the pit of her belly draws
on the remnants of desire, passion
she hasn’t forgotten, doesn’t want to.
She holds on to memories – and the truth.

Siobhan
11-20-09

 

Starlight Obscured

Shadows of a Future Unknown

The new moon hidden in Scorpio’s sky,
starlight clears a path before it’s obscured.
She is lost within shadows, cast aside;
a darkness now surrounds that memory.

She wanders, listening to the sounds as
sense and fantasy battle within her.
Is there one path right for her – or for him?
Do they cross anywhere but in the past?

Soft declarations echo in her dreams,
she recalls her heart’s plea… never too late…
and wonders when she stopped believing it.
Each step forward a painful reminder,
a wound she thought healed, being reopened.
With the future unknown, she keeps breathing.

Siobhan
11-20-2009

 

How long is the life of a star?

Seeing Stars

Scattered amid the stars – Orion’s belt,
I dim and flare with the passage of time.
You hang about the edges, spark interest
and light, arguing with both love and me.

Fluid, I flicker in your attention,
glow and reach form to suit your desire
before you lose your curiosity
and I burn for no reason – save star dust.

My constellation gathers energy
from the surrounding stars – needs to survive
in the cold darkness, feeling left behind.

From within the velvet black, new life
emerges, clinging to no one’s orbit
I make my own, cast both light and shadow.

Siobhan
11-18-2009

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On an autumn afternoon

Between Memory and a Promise

I get angry at the ease with which you
breeze through life – know it is not all it seems,
pain and pathos exist; yet, you’re carefree…
whether by choice or design is open
for debate by those who wish to question.
As for me, I sit back and watch it all.

Music from the past pushes me backward,
music from today, coaxes me forward.
I sit between memory and a promise,
momentarily uncertain. No vows
hold me any longer, except those
inside me – newly born to myself.
I can be true to me alone, until
I’ve healed from wounds still too fresh to ignore.

Siobhan
11-08-09

 

Midnight pomegranate

Unscented

Between her shoulder blades, in the middle
of her back, is that place she cannot reach.
It remains unscented, a memory
of rituals that brought life to mornings.
Soft hands glide down her freshly washed body;
capture the dampness within the subtle
fragrance; midnight pomegranate will cling
through the day, and elicit thoughts of years
when his touches awakened her senses
with scent massaged slowly across her back.
Up shapely calves, dipping behind her knees,
with each stroke, she recalls the feel of him.
Slender fingers move slowly, unable
to reach out and caress her scented heart.

Siobhan
10-24-09

 

Seasonal shift

Mystery and Silence

 
It is darker than yesterday, the sun
two minutes behind schedule and
unable to break through the haze. We walked
beneath grey clouds promising no notice
in deciding to rain or blow away.
The blaze of color skittering about
ditches and across lawns has turned to rust
and sienna, mud-brown damp and clinging
to pant cuffs; the sparkle simply raindrops
mixed with dew glinting in the light cast by
street lamps yet to go out. Our own shadows
dance alongside us, barely visible.
 
Such a morning holds mystery and silence,
as if taunting me to wake within it.
 

Siobhan
10-22-09

 

In the end finding the lifeline

Drunk on Each Other
 
Times I find myself clinging to a life
no longer mine, I end up quietly
crying in the corner of a couch, curled
up, not sure how I reached this point – alone.

My heart hasn’t turned to stone, though I wish
it would when, awake in darkness, I reach
out to touch, find emptiness where I want
to find solid ground, a lifeline. I need
 
to hold memories at bay. Thinking gives
them life, allows them room to breathe inside me.
I can’t swim through all the tears; again hope
things will change back to what I knew before –
 
more so than any, drunk on each other –
the two of us were in those brief moments.

 
Siobhan
10-19-09